love languages

[summer_jackel]

This nifty little meme from joreth. She did a very interesting and thoughtful post about the whole thing, so if you care to, go look at it. No, I am not tagging anyone to take this, though. /glares at meme/.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

<th colspan="2">My Detailed Results:</th>

Quality Time:	10
Words of Affirmation:	8
Physical Touch:	8
Acts of Service:	3
Receiving Gifts:	1

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Interestingly enough, I was in a workshop last weekend where this book got brought up by a participant. Hmm, I should really talk about that some time, it was blissful. Interesting stuff, psychology is.

I'm surprised that I didn't rate more highly in physical touch, though. Honestly, I respond well to all of the above, as I think most people do to different degrees, with different emphasis. Nifty.

Comments

[joreth]

Heh, I hate that "tag X people" or "send to 400 of your friends" bit ... too reminiscent of chain letters and stupid email forwards. I just delete those lines from the html code when I do a meme that has one.

I'd be interested to hear about your workshop.

I would have thought that a lot of people respond well to all of the Languages to varying degrees, since *I* do, but I've met quite a few people that just don't see certain things as acts of love at all, even when explained that the person doing the act is doing it out of love. It's quite fascinating.

For instance, the example I gave in my post about fixing the brakes on the car. I was once told that a particular guy does maintenence on his wife's car, not because he's the guy and he's supposed to, but because he cares so much about her that he wants her to be safe when she's not with him, and one of the ways he does to ensure that is to keep her car running well. The wife just thought he tinkered with the car because "that's what guys do" and sometimes to avoid spending time with her. But in reality, he had her in mind the whole time. Even after explaining this to her, she still resented the amount of time he spent in the garage, just couldn't wrap her brain around this Act of Service as a way to show love because she was so thoroughly embedded in Quality Time and couldn't see any other method of communicating love.

And this happens more often than I thought. Fascinating stuff.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

That really is fascinating. I think that I display all of the modalities to varying degrees, although it took a long time for me to get that, for Chris, cleaning the house was an act of love. We got snippy at each other about house chores for years, partly because he sees doing 'em as important acts of love, and my doing 'em as fast as humanly possible or just not caring as much as he did hurt his feelings.

As for my workshop, actually you might be really interested in this. My girlfriend Lucy recently started working for these people:

http://www.tantraforwomen.com/

We've been doing...it's hard to explain, but...energy work and intense connection through sexuality for some time now, and looking for other people who are on similar paths just because it is so strange. It looks as though we've...independently fallen upon stuff that feels more like tantra than anything else.

So I've been to an intro and a workshop now, and this stuff is WONDERFUL. Seriously, some of the most beautiful, blissful, life-fulfilling experiences ever. It is so amazing to be in a group of people doing this work, and so loving. I can hardly believe it's real. It seems like I should not be able, knowing my highly introverted and even misanthropic personality, to be ecstatically intimate, essentially, in a group of near-strangers. But there it is.

I think that biologically speaking, it's a way to get conscious control of brain chemistry that is usually involuntary and play with it. Our brains are just...fun.

If ya ever end up moving over here, you should come to one of the pujas. It is pretty fascinating. :)