In which Jackel snarks at the fundies

[summer_jackel]

When I came home yesterday, you can imagine that I wasn't terribly pleased to find some unsolicited literature from the Jehovah's Witnesses shoved into my front door. "Why you should read the Bible" or some such obnoxious, complete with picture of a happy Native American Bible study group. Because Christianity was SO good for the indigenous peoples of North America, yo. And I already know why I should read the Bible, thanks...like all mythology, it's a beautiful work of art with some really neat insights into the complex psychology of our species. I'm a total mythology buff, and hey, I named my dog after my favorite Biblical figure! I mean really, what more could they want?

I'm almost sad I missed 'em, though. I've been in some deeply snarky and unpleasant moods recently, and messing with a fundie might be a good release for some of that vitriol. It's especially fun to invade their personal space somewhat while petting Delphi. For some reason, people of this type are often nervous around snakes. I cannot imagine why. They're so smooth and lovely...c'mon, don't you want to pet him?

While we're on the subject, though, I just have to make the observation that I can't seem to throw a stick in a park without hitting the Devil's or Satan's something or other. Just off the top of my head, we have The Devil's Postpile, Bathtub, Swimming Pool, Golf COurse, Tower, Garden, Hall, Playground...you get the idea. So if all of these magnnificent and exquisite things are from the Devil, and the Judeo-Christian God sends me idiots with insipid fliers, WHO do you expect me to pay attention to, again...?

(and again, as a caveat to all of my friends who may be Christian, don't take this as any disrespect, unless you attempt to convert me. ;) )

Completely unrelated, here are my virtual pets again. Valenth seems up, and will hopefully stay that way. I'd love my critters to get fed, but if it isn't working, don't bother.




Feed Me!

Feed Me!

Feed Me!

Feed Me!
ok

Comments

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

Of course, my big question is...

...what kind of snake is Delphi?

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

heee!
Delphi is a cute-as-the-dickens little ball python. My favorite species of snake, I loves them so.

[kynekh-amagire.livejournal.com]

I'm never home on Saturday mornings (which is usually when the Witnesses turn up). So Eclipse answers the door, and he's nice, and takes their printed material, and off they go . . . only to return. Rrrgh.

Maybe it's a good thing that I'm not around, as I get up really early and I'm kind of sick and twisted about these things. Chalked human outlines on the sidewalk with blood and copies of "The Watchtower" strewn about would only be the beginning.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

oooooh, I LIKE that. Artistic and a choice deterrant!!

[demonvaska.livejournal.com]

Dear Jehovah Witlesses, You've been wrong on 19 out of 19 predictions about the end of the world and I'm therefore simply uninterested in contact with a group that has such a poor track record.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

ahahahahaha! Good point!
....wait, *19*? They got it wrong 19 times?

I'd be afraid to show my face, man.

[demonvaska.livejournal.com]

Ahh sorry, I just checked and they've only officially declared the end of the world ten times. The other nine were by members later said to be unaffiliated. Shamelessly copied from Wikipedia:

* 1907: Jesus will take his throne in Heaven in the year 1914.
* 1917: In 1918, God would begin to destroy churches "wholesale" and church members by the millions.
* 1922-1923: The resurrection of the dead would occur in 1925. In preparation for the 1925 date, the Watchtower Society acquired a property in California and built a mansion on it. The property was to house people such as Abraham, Moses, David, and Samuel, whom they thought would be resurrected to life in 1925.
* 1938: In 1938, Armaggedon was too close for marriage or child bearing.
* 1941: There were only "months" remaining until Armageddon.
* 1942: Armageddon was "immediately before us."[85]
* 1969: Human existence would not last long enough for young people to grow old; the world system would end "in a few years". Young Witnesses were encouraged not to bother pursuing tertiary education for this reason.
* 1969: Christ's thousand-year reign would begin in 1975. There was a considerable amount of related speculation in Watchtower publications in the years leading up to 1975.
* 1984: There were "many indications" that "the end" was closer than the end of the 20th century.
* 1914 (generation): It was taught that Armageddon would take place before the death of those who were alive in 1914. This teaching was abandoned in 1996; Jehovah's Witnesses currently believe that no certain year can be established for Armageddon to occur.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Oh my. That's just charming. Color me amused. Ten wrong calls is plenty enough to be pretty embarassing in my book...

[joreth]

Heh, we had a Jehovah's Witness family in the neighborhood that, due to our close, social family-style neighborhood, actually knew who we were individually. So they started coming around and pestering me when I was a teenager and not yet grown into my future Le Online Bitch persona ...

until I finally answered the door one day in a floor length black cape and a leather mini skirt with heavy eyeliner and a guy streaking past behind me, nude.

They started timing their visits to bother my sister when my car wasn't out front.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like that!
When I was still living with my mother, I was annoyed as all hell since she talked to and was nice to them...even let them in once!

Then, I answered the door wearing a python and little else. They never came back.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I generally do talk to door-to-door religious people and am sometimes friendly to them. But you do have to wonder about Christianity. In it, they say the "devil" encouraged us to gain knowledge and learn the difference between good and evil and "god" gave us death, forced us to labor and suffer, and caused childbirth to be painful.