For once, we have positive news on the GLBT front.

[summer_jackel]

Article about GLBT youth coming out in middle school that made me go 'awwwwwww' and actually gave me a lot of hope about the kind of progress we've made and are making as a culture. Also, when was the last time you read anything upbeat and positive about middle school? I mean really.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27out-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=4&hp

A favored quote, which especially as a lawyer is making me snicker gleefully: "Indeed, courts — citing the Equal Access Act, which requires public schools to provide equal access to extracurricular clubs — have consistently ruled against schools that try to block G.S.A.’s from starting. (The 1984 law was the brainchild of Christian groups fighting to allow students to form religious clubs in schools.)" There are probably at least a few of the annoying sorts of Christian who are very nonplussed about that, and at them I laugh, but I am in good enough of a mood to think that perhaps some of them are happy that societal progress works this way. (EDIT: I cry for the punctuation fail, though, especially since this is the N.Y. Times).

I can't say that I had any idea that I was gay in middle school. If the concept had been more culturally present then I might have figured it out, because in retrospect all of the signs were there. No, the conscious realization that I was attracted to girls hit me like a piano falling from a height at about 16-ish. My internal monologue went something like, "Oh no. I'm attracted to girls. Oh no, I'm attracted to this particular girl, I am so incredibly doomed." I then did my level best to ignore the whole issue until I was pushing thirty. Never underestimate the social cluelessness and ineptitude of young Jackel. Of course, I've grown out of all that now. shifty eyes. Sure, of course I have.

Now that I am actually comfortable with my gay, I really am much happier, though I certainly can't say it's made my life any easier.


On a completely unrelated note, I am back from Florida and had a great time. Disney, I have to give it to them, does one damn fine zoo. Friends in Florida, please forgive me for not attempting to be social; the whole experience was just so packed with stuff and overwhelming that I really didn't have time to arrange meetings with people, much as I'd have liked to. But I did enjoy the experience enough that I suspect I may even do it again. There will be pictures later. For now, I'm actually more relaxed and happy than I've been for awhile, so that's a good thing.

Comments

[troubleagain.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you had a good time, and I completely understand the lack of socializing. ;-)

[howl-at-the-sun.livejournal.com]

So nice to hear good news about GLBT issues.

It's taken me a while to consciously drum up the notion that gay relationships are good and something to be happy and proud about rather than something that semi-opened minded people tolerate but are squicked by.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

That can definitely be a project. I'm fortunate in that I've never personally suffered a negative reaction about my orientation, though I'm very specifically not out to my mom for this reason. I'm blessed with progressive, intelligent and otherwise neat friends, none of whom seem to care.

Still, the society leaves its subtle mark, and while I think of myself as out to the universe (other than my mom), things like wearing drag in public (and I am very subtle!) and attending gay events still inspire more nervousness than they should.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Oh, what a heartening article.

My own revelations about my bisexuality have been slow to happen, hampered by my religious upbringing and the fact that I didn't even know it was an option until I was in my late teens, at least. At least I'm actually starting to be open about it, figuring that anyone who has a problem with that probably isn't someone I want to have as a friend anyway.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way about people, and if I sense that someone is on their way to being potential friends with me, I try to let the gay-and-poly reveal happen early on. So far it hasn't created any problems.

As for figuring yourself out, well, it was a long process for me, too...I suspect it is for a lot of us, particularly as people naturally mature and deepen as they age anyhow. I identified as bi for a long time, perfectly natural as I was in a very happy long-term monogamous partnership with a guy, but no, I'm gay. Girls have just a whole different level of interest.

My male sweetie, though, says he's happy that I'm not strictly gay.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

I've been too afraid, in the past, to open myself up to it. So I've tried to pass as straight, or Christian, or otherwise. I still hide some facts, to some degree. I try to say it's because it's my business and not public information, but I know it's because I'm still afraid of the response. I'm just feeling better about sharing some of it. And I do want more people to be aware of bisexuality, because there really is a snap judgment that a male/female couple holding hands is a straight couple, and female/female or male/male is gay, without room for consideration that one or both of each couple may be bi.

But it is quite nice to be more open about it.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

There was a moment when I realized that I made an unconscious assumption that everyone I met was straight unless I knew specifically otherwise. Quite wrong, of course, and harmful besides. I found that shifting my head around until I had it internalized to make no assumptions re anyone's orientation made the world much more interesting.

[kynekh-amagire.livejournal.com]

Article appears to be members-only, but nevertheless, hurrah. Thirteen-year-olds might have to be fucked in the head regardless, but "heterosexuality-monogamy is NORMAL, anything else is DEVIANT" is a concept that can really crawl into a dank hole and die. Now, social cluelessness and ineptitude? THAT's normal.

Also: Yay, you're back! Glad you had a good time.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

members only? Hmm, I am definitely not a member, and I read it. I'd repost the thing in its entirety, because it really is that uplifting, but the article is several pages long.

/sigh/ Of all the places for my little brain to decide to be normal, did it have to be the social ineptitude? /plaintive jackal sadface/

[troubleagain.livejournal.com]

The article requires (free) registration.

[chiere.livejournal.com]

No prob with the no visiting, =-) I totally understand! To really do Florida justice and see all the cool stuff, you need a 6 month all expenses paid vacation here!

I did try to arrange a shuttle launch for you, (after all, the hubby works at NASA,) but they just wouldn't listen to me! LOL!

[lynnenova.livejournal.com]

My internal monologue went something like, "Oh no. I'm attracted to girls. Oh no, I'm attracted to this particular girl, I am so incredibly doomed."

Wow... I can't believe how well that statement reflects my own 15-year-old revelation.

Now for a contemplation that's been mulling around in my head for some time, particularly since my own rather surprisingly life-rocking coming out this year: Several of my lesbian or lady-leaning female friends have similar stories about unresolved, confused feelings in youth, which culminated in a period of denial (i.e., unsatisfying relationship with a man / men) followed by a self-revealing "Ohhh" moment later in life, at which point all the pieces finally fell into place. On the other hand, most of my gay male friends, even older ones, seem to have made their decision early on, and stuck with it; They don't seem to have had similar periods of denial (I've heard anecdotal stories of such men, sure, but I don't know any). I wonder if this trend is simply a result of the limited sampling of "People I happen to know," or if there is actually a trend among lesbians / lesbian-leaning-bisexuals to deny their natures longer than gay men.

Perhaps women deny their lesbian leanings for the sake of maintaining the possibility of achieving a "normal" nuclear family, and conceiving offspring with a male partner? In retrospect, I know this played a part in my mental mapping of the situation. I rail against the idea that gay men wouldn't experience a similar mental struggle, but it's something to chew on.

[lynnenova.livejournal.com]

Also, I had a good chuckle while reading that article. In high school, I attempted to start a GSA with two friends of mine (one lesbian, one gay male, and me as the "heterosexual ally"). The GSA was quashed, because the administration didn't like the name. We were able to organize the club only under the name SAFE (Student Alliance for Equality). We made our point anyway, and walked in the Homecoming Parade dressed up in colorful feathers with a rainbow-covered float. Still, it's heartening to know that now the law is on the side of GSA clubs.