He is Grooming His Poodle

[summer_jackel]

My survival of this week more or less unscathed...it included an 8 1/2 hour drive and my family...is cause for thanks, and has been accomplished.

I celebrated by starting to assemble Coba's grooming kit. "The Illustrated Guide to Sheltie Grooming" has begun to assimilate and, armed with the arcane knowledge of how to tease and layer the beast's frill such that it remains erect for the duration of any judicial attention, I am going to attempt my first show trim. It will be sucky and amateurish, but I am nothing if not a quick study, and if I can learn to sculpt shelt to at least a tolerable approximation by February, I may actually find my chickenshit carcass in a show ring. Attached by the most delicate ribbon, of course, to a confection grave of eye, plush of coat and coiffed immaculately.

Yeah, so my dog now owns more cosmetic tools than I do, by a fairly significant margin. What the box contains at present:

Dog-specific straight scissors (I already had these; they're the nice kind)
blunt-end mini scissors (to trim whiskers and shape lip hair)
tiny scissors (ear tips, pad fluff)
pin brush
boar-bristle brush (round; intended for humans)
slicker
grooming spray
toothbrush for day-of-show touchup/ extra paste (the dogs' regular toothbrushes are, er, in the bathroom with mine)

What I need:

Thinning shears. RAWR how can _both_ big pet stores in Santa Rosa be out of thinning shears? Do people really buy that many of them? Did that question really just come out of my brain? Actually, these look like the most vital tool, and eventually I may want to get a real pair, but for now the ones from Petsmart will do.

Coat texturizer (this will help him keep his frill up. I don't think Petsmart is going to have this.
groomer's chalk (keep those wee paws shiny white, but make sure it's all completely brushed out or the judge will eat your head)

Yes, guys, you are welcome to laugh at me. I am in pursuit of the absurd in the company of a little dog who has also followed me over two mountain ranges this summer, bootied to keep the granite from lacerating his tender pink paws.

Comments

[chiere.livejournal.com]

Our little old man mini Aussie that we lost last year to a snake bite was such a tough guy, but also loooooved to be primped!!! He loved dog shows and showing off, would get excited, and just KNEW all applause was for Himself! He hated to have his paws fiddled with, was very ticklish, but as soon as he got a bath and a blow dry, he would stand in show pose while we carefully trimmed his paws and freshened him up! He could go from working horses on the ranch on Friday to winning the blues on Sat and Sun and loved every bit. I miss the little grouchy old fart,...

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

I need thinning shears for Penny the Woods Cat. Or maybe I need a chainsaw. Honestly, I have never seen a cat with fur as coarse. I've never even seen a DOG with fur that coarse.

Good luck with the grooming. I do hope Coba cooperates without driving the both of you to distraction.

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

By the way, my greatest triumph in pet grooming was giving a skunked tomcat a bath in tomato juice, and then a rinse in warm shower water. This was a cat who stumbled in, eyes wide and pretty much drunken from the shock of catching the spray. Other than that I don't know how I managed to bathe him without having several more or less vital parts of my anatomy removed.

We proved the old wives' tale. Tomato juice really does knock skunk scent right down. Well, the way an open can of tomato juice will absorb all the off odors in your refrigerator (and then taste like it, and get dumped down the drain, bleccch) I was pretty sure it was going to work.