some things about my human...
Jul. 8th, 2005 05:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
so...i've been thinking. i've been trying to figure out this human thing for 10 years, and ive come to the conclusion that People Make No Sense.
Now, my person seems to understand some things, like Walks, and Runs in the Trees, which are Very Important Things. also she throws things so that i can Chase which is also Good. she also seems to understand the value of Bones, and Pig Ears, which are delicious. She is also a generous Alpha, because she gives us the Pig Ears and i have never seen her eat even one! i am shocked at her control!!! i did not even share Pig Ears with my puppies, i am ashamed to say, they are so Good.
however, there are some things i do not understand, like the most worrisome one when she ties us up and puts water and awful smelling foaming stuff and works it into my fur! the nerve! why does she do this??? usually too it is when my fur is just starting to smell the way I like it, and i have collected lots of good scents in it. like Cow Pies, nice Dead Things and Rotting Algae from the Pond. collecting these is extra hard because my human leashes us whenever we find a good one or yells at us to stop! also, we wolf hybrids have a very special and wonderful and unique scent. after she "shampoos" us, not only are our hard-collected perfumes gone, we smell like papaya, tea tree oil and something called "awaphui", whetever the heck that is...we are not in Hawaii and i am not a poi dog!!!!
she thinks papaya smells better than rotting cow dung? what is wrong with her?
i begin to get very very Worried about my human's sense of smell. i heard about dogs who help humans with problems with their sight; perhaps mine is similarly incapacitated in the Nose (the Horror!!!!). maybe this is why she will not even taste the pig ears? it is the only reasonable explanation.
i think now it is my Dog-given duty to guide and educate my poor handicapped human, and lead her to Good Scents until she learns to recognize them. i will try extra hard to share all of the wonderful things i find by rubbing them into her pseudo-fur 'clothes'. it will be a difficult task but i vow to do this.
---fenris
Now, my person seems to understand some things, like Walks, and Runs in the Trees, which are Very Important Things. also she throws things so that i can Chase which is also Good. she also seems to understand the value of Bones, and Pig Ears, which are delicious. She is also a generous Alpha, because she gives us the Pig Ears and i have never seen her eat even one! i am shocked at her control!!! i did not even share Pig Ears with my puppies, i am ashamed to say, they are so Good.
however, there are some things i do not understand, like the most worrisome one when she ties us up and puts water and awful smelling foaming stuff and works it into my fur! the nerve! why does she do this??? usually too it is when my fur is just starting to smell the way I like it, and i have collected lots of good scents in it. like Cow Pies, nice Dead Things and Rotting Algae from the Pond. collecting these is extra hard because my human leashes us whenever we find a good one or yells at us to stop! also, we wolf hybrids have a very special and wonderful and unique scent. after she "shampoos" us, not only are our hard-collected perfumes gone, we smell like papaya, tea tree oil and something called "awaphui", whetever the heck that is...we are not in Hawaii and i am not a poi dog!!!!
she thinks papaya smells better than rotting cow dung? what is wrong with her?
i begin to get very very Worried about my human's sense of smell. i heard about dogs who help humans with problems with their sight; perhaps mine is similarly incapacitated in the Nose (the Horror!!!!). maybe this is why she will not even taste the pig ears? it is the only reasonable explanation.
i think now it is my Dog-given duty to guide and educate my poor handicapped human, and lead her to Good Scents until she learns to recognize them. i will try extra hard to share all of the wonderful things i find by rubbing them into her pseudo-fur 'clothes'. it will be a difficult task but i vow to do this.
---fenris
no subject
Date: 2005-07-09 08:20 pm (UTC)