summer_jackel

OK, this may be snake TMI, but, well, I have a pet python, snakes eat rats and I, in fact, feed him.  If that causes squickage, you may pass now, but I found this warped and funny so I'm sharing...

I picked him up a frozen rat today. Usually, I get a live one and kill it for him if he dosen't make an immediate strike; Delphi is a rather timid eater. Frozen vs. live is a big debate in snake circles, btw; frozen is safer (rats will often bite and even kill a snake, and freezing kills any bad germs it might have); live allows them to indulge their instinct to hunt and stimulates the prey drive of occasionally unenthusiastic eaters like Del. Frozen proponents also claim that it is kinder to the prey rodent, but I am skeptical; Del kills very quickly (and so do I), moreso, I imagine, than being flash-frozen.

But anyhow, I was at PetSmart today, they had frozen, Del needed feeding, so I got him one. This is the first *commercially packaged* dead rat I've ever bought, and it gave me LOLs. This product was called "gourmet rodent." (As opposed to bargain rodent, for working class snakes?) and came in a little purple pastel bag printed with green mice; very eastery. There were instructions printed on the back, 2 of which are worth sharing.

The first was, appropriately in bold, 'Do Not Microwave.' Oh, Amen to that. Seriously folks, I tried that once, and after law school it is one of the stupidist decisions I've ever made. No, no, oh hell no, don't ever ever ever microwave a dead rat. I'm really ok with many very disgusting things; I scavenge road kill, after all, and I've smelled all manner of badness, so trust me when I say this one is in a league of its own. When packaging tells you not to microwave a frozen rat, baby, you'd better listen.

The last instruction was, "not for human consumption."

I don't think I have anything to say about that.