Cheap Crappy Asian Food: Ur Doin It Wrong.

[summer_jackel]

This post, shockingly, isn't about my pets, furry art, odd poetry/essay/thingamabobs or cryptic snippets about my somehat unsusual personal life. Naw, this time it's about my weird dinner.

OK, so I was out late in Rohnert Park, which is probably my least favorite town in Sonoma County. It's an ultra-planned community with rules including that there are stores and such every X blocks, which seems like a great idea but in reality means that you can never find a damn thing and there is no real center of town, just a long suburban sprawl dotted with mini malls. And the whole thing is kind of scarily cookie-cutter insipid...the place has an intent but no real personality. Anyway. I was there, it was late, I was hungry, and saw this neat-lookin flashy, trendy yellow sign inviting me to 'Stiix Asian Grill.' So good so far, right?

It turns out to be this little hole-in-the-wall dive, which is fine by me as I am no stranger to low-budget Asian fare. I half lived on $1-an-entree-Chinese when I was at school in Berkeley, and let me tell you, that was a real dive, you don't want to look too closely at the food but it was tasty. There was a cute little blown-up newspaper article about how the couple who ran it had met, gotten married and opened this sweet little restaraunt. Menu looked great. It was pretty full, everyone Asian and speaking in Chinese, which I felt was probably a good sign. Nice to see some diversity in this county, *especially* in whitebread Rohnert Park.

The husband/wife cook/cashier duo were totally nice to me. Almost scarily so. He wanted personally to go over the whole menu, and when I was eating, they asked me how I liked the food at least 4 times (kind of annoying, actually, as I dislike people near me when I eat unless they are close friends; Jackel quirk #600k). The food was served in this absolutely beautiful red-and-black laquered wooden box thing. A+++ for effort, guys.

But the food really, really sucked. It was this limp, barely warm, coagulted...stuff...all drizzled over with the same mystery sauce. It was almost inedibly bland, a statement coming from me which will make any of you who are actually familiar with my weird tastes in food doubletake and wonder if, like, my brain has perhaps been subverted by scary Lovecraftan aliens or some such. It was with dismay that I choked this stuff down.

I slunk out when they weren't watching because I just couldn't stand to tell these really sweet, earnest people who *really wanted me to be happy with their fud* that, dude, this was awful, I've had way way waaaay better at $1 Chinese. I mean, you just can't tell someone that. The place would have been awesome had the food been edible. How hard is it to make really bad-but-in-a-tasty-way Chinese food? Shouldn't someone tell them? I have total etiquette anxiety over this.

On the other paw, there was a gelato place right next door. With the real stuff. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmr.

Moral of this story? Skip dinner and eat dessert instead.

There are three cats in my bed, staring at me expectantly. I'm being summoned; they want their blanket warmer. Wish I hadn't drank caffeine tonight. oops.

Comments

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

I feel the same about Rohnert Park, really. The themed streets (this neighborhood has A named streets, this one has B, etc) is at first a somewhat good idea for navigation, since you know generally where you need to go if someone says they live off a street with a name starting with D. But then comes the problem of figuring out where it is in that section of suburban sprawl. I remarked to Eclipse once that Rohnert Park is fairly indistinguishable from Anytown, USA, but Petaluma has real character in its downtown area and so on.

Nice to know Stix isn't much of a place. We've passed it a few times and I've wondered. But the gelato... I may need to try that...

By the way, good Chinese? Peking in Petaluma. It's tucked off behind Staples in the Washington Square shopping center, off 101 at Washington and McDowell.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Rodent Pork has just given me the shuddering heebie jeebies since I met it, honestly. Pettyluma is awesome, though; it has a lot of character, at least the older bits. And there are Victorians, always a big plus. I have many happy teenaged memories from there.

You can really write Stiix off of your carrion-to-sample list; no reason for both of us to suffer. The gelato place *is* to be tried, though; they get their gelato from the place in Berkeley that has gooooooooood gelato, so this is the real stuff, man. Also they sell Violet Crumbles, which make me purr.

Let's see each other soon and have good Chinese food.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know we live in a cookie-cutter subdivision in Petaluma, but it's tempered by the fact that it's along a river and a creek confluence, and there is a ton of wildlife that can be found along here. A vulture perched on a post behind our yard today, I've seen ospreys, and the yard is occasionally filled with quail. I love it. :)

Gelato and Violet Crumbles? You definitely have my attention. :)

That sounds like a good plan to me. :)

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Your subdivsion really isn't half bad at all. The nice yard bordering the creek is a big, big plus.

I would suggest us going to the gelato place together but that would mean deliberately going to Rodent Pork for something other than absolute necessity and I just don't think I can live with that. ;) Kyn sez weekday afternoons are good with her. Interested in hanging out the 22nd?

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

er, I lied, the 21st, I'm working on the 22nd.

[genmaicha.livejournal.com]

That sounds great. :) She says she can ask for that day off, and Eclipse would be getting off work around 5ish. We can accomplish some mischief and then get some Peking. Prefer to order in or eat there? It's just a tiny eating area, really small storefront. Just a few tables.

21st? I'll let 'em know. :)

[starchy.livejournal.com]

O holy crap yes it is thanks to you and this post that I only just now realized that with my new espresso machine and the proper frozen goodness I can make gelato affogato oh my yes thank you this will happen yes.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

murrr, of the many Good Things That Need To Happen, this concoction sounds as if it definitely ought to be among them.

I think that my involvement in the inspiration of this substance means that I get to sample some of it the next time I am at your house. /a smallish jackal sits near your espresso machine and licks her muzzle expectantly/.

[kynekh-amagire.livejournal.com]

Next time you make it over here, we are having Chinese from Peking brought down. Everything they make is faaaaaaantastic.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

Let us please do this thing.

[kynekh-amagire.livejournal.com]

Whenever you like, we'd enjoy seeing you again. I'm usually off Saturdays if you want to make it a day thing, otherwise, I've generally got most/all of the afternoon free on weekdays.

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

you lot doin' anything the 21st?
I'll email or something.

[kynekh-amagire.livejournal.com]

Sweet as. I should be able to get the day off. Not sure about Eclipse, though.

[kiohl.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't have trusted any place with the word "Stix" or "Stiix" in it. o.o Heh.

Also, you went to Berkeley?? o.o When? I graduated 2003. :3

[summer-jackel.livejournal.com]

heh, this is true, but then cheap crappy Asian food is a favored carrion of choice. Only, not *this* crappy.

I'm class of 1999, in philosophy, with almost-minors in art, Celtic Studies and psych. :D Didn't know you were also a Bear.

[kiohl.livejournal.com]

XD Awww.

BTW, I forgot to mention that Rohnert Park sounds exactly like Irvine - uber-planned community, lacking soul. Oh well.

Almost-minors! XD Oh, I hear ya there, especially art and psych. :3 Go Bears! :3