Cheap Crappy Asian Food: Ur Doin It Wrong.
Oct. 9th, 2008 11:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
summer_jackelThis post, shockingly, isn't about my pets, furry art, odd poetry/essay/thingamabobs or cryptic snippets about my somehat unsusual personal life. Naw, this time it's about my weird dinner.
OK, so I was out late in Rohnert Park, which is probably my least favorite town in Sonoma County. It's an ultra-planned community with rules including that there are stores and such every X blocks, which seems like a great idea but in reality means that you can never find a damn thing and there is no real center of town, just a long suburban sprawl dotted with mini malls. And the whole thing is kind of scarily cookie-cutter insipid...the place has an intent but no real personality. Anyway. I was there, it was late, I was hungry, and saw this neat-lookin flashy, trendy yellow sign inviting me to 'Stiix Asian Grill.' So good so far, right?
It turns out to be this little hole-in-the-wall dive, which is fine by me as I am no stranger to low-budget Asian fare. I half lived on $1-an-entree-Chinese when I was at school in Berkeley, and let me tell you, that was a real dive, you don't want to look too closely at the food but it was tasty. There was a cute little blown-up newspaper article about how the couple who ran it had met, gotten married and opened this sweet little restaraunt. Menu looked great. It was pretty full, everyone Asian and speaking in Chinese, which I felt was probably a good sign. Nice to see some diversity in this county, *especially* in whitebread Rohnert Park.
The husband/wife cook/cashier duo were totally nice to me. Almost scarily so. He wanted personally to go over the whole menu, and when I was eating, they asked me how I liked the food at least 4 times (kind of annoying, actually, as I dislike people near me when I eat unless they are close friends; Jackel quirk #600k). The food was served in this absolutely beautiful red-and-black laquered wooden box thing. A+++ for effort, guys.
But the food really, really sucked. It was this limp, barely warm, coagulted...stuff...all drizzled over with the same mystery sauce. It was almost inedibly bland, a statement coming from me which will make any of you who are actually familiar with my weird tastes in food doubletake and wonder if, like, my brain has perhaps been subverted by scary Lovecraftan aliens or some such. It was with dismay that I choked this stuff down.
I slunk out when they weren't watching because I just couldn't stand to tell these really sweet, earnest people who *really wanted me to be happy with their fud* that, dude, this was awful, I've had way way waaaay better at $1 Chinese. I mean, you just can't tell someone that. The place would have been awesome had the food been edible. How hard is it to make really bad-but-in-a-tasty-way Chinese food? Shouldn't someone tell them? I have total etiquette anxiety over this.
On the other paw, there was a gelato place right next door. With the real stuff. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmr.
Moral of this story? Skip dinner and eat dessert instead.
There are three cats in my bed, staring at me expectantly. I'm being summoned; they want their blanket warmer. Wish I hadn't drank caffeine tonight. oops.
OK, so I was out late in Rohnert Park, which is probably my least favorite town in Sonoma County. It's an ultra-planned community with rules including that there are stores and such every X blocks, which seems like a great idea but in reality means that you can never find a damn thing and there is no real center of town, just a long suburban sprawl dotted with mini malls. And the whole thing is kind of scarily cookie-cutter insipid...the place has an intent but no real personality. Anyway. I was there, it was late, I was hungry, and saw this neat-lookin flashy, trendy yellow sign inviting me to 'Stiix Asian Grill.' So good so far, right?
It turns out to be this little hole-in-the-wall dive, which is fine by me as I am no stranger to low-budget Asian fare. I half lived on $1-an-entree-Chinese when I was at school in Berkeley, and let me tell you, that was a real dive, you don't want to look too closely at the food but it was tasty. There was a cute little blown-up newspaper article about how the couple who ran it had met, gotten married and opened this sweet little restaraunt. Menu looked great. It was pretty full, everyone Asian and speaking in Chinese, which I felt was probably a good sign. Nice to see some diversity in this county, *especially* in whitebread Rohnert Park.
The husband/wife cook/cashier duo were totally nice to me. Almost scarily so. He wanted personally to go over the whole menu, and when I was eating, they asked me how I liked the food at least 4 times (kind of annoying, actually, as I dislike people near me when I eat unless they are close friends; Jackel quirk #600k). The food was served in this absolutely beautiful red-and-black laquered wooden box thing. A+++ for effort, guys.
But the food really, really sucked. It was this limp, barely warm, coagulted...stuff...all drizzled over with the same mystery sauce. It was almost inedibly bland, a statement coming from me which will make any of you who are actually familiar with my weird tastes in food doubletake and wonder if, like, my brain has perhaps been subverted by scary Lovecraftan aliens or some such. It was with dismay that I choked this stuff down.
I slunk out when they weren't watching because I just couldn't stand to tell these really sweet, earnest people who *really wanted me to be happy with their fud* that, dude, this was awful, I've had way way waaaay better at $1 Chinese. I mean, you just can't tell someone that. The place would have been awesome had the food been edible. How hard is it to make really bad-but-in-a-tasty-way Chinese food? Shouldn't someone tell them? I have total etiquette anxiety over this.
On the other paw, there was a gelato place right next door. With the real stuff. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmr.
Moral of this story? Skip dinner and eat dessert instead.
There are three cats in my bed, staring at me expectantly. I'm being summoned; they want their blanket warmer. Wish I hadn't drank caffeine tonight. oops.
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Date: 2008-10-10 08:42 pm (UTC)21st? I'll let 'em know. :)