summer_jackel

leora gave me five words that she associates with me, to explain a little about.

( And I'm editing it to go behind a cut because it's longish )

Chris became Kestrel and fully let go of his teaching career.

Lucy finalized her divorce from our ex.

Things went from almost the worst they've ever been in our triad, to the best.

I loved and lost, spectacularly. Learned a lot in the process. It's about equal parts suffering and gratitude at this point, I think.

GoH at Morphicon;

Had the temple come into my life, officially studied tantra (having unofficially studied it for years, but that's another story);

Felt really competent as an attorney for the first time; struggled to make everything else I like to do fit with it;

Lost Jhala, Tristan (mom's horses), Sage and Lady Randell (my parrots);

Had Kaya come into my life, possibly for the *rest* of my life;

Began to have poly work really well and in the process fully realized that I don't want to live any other way. Also somehow in that process, ended up with a personal life so varied and complex that I often find myself genuinely, bemusedly surprised by it;

Began identifying as a lesbian (albeit by kind of a funny definition, as I'm still happily sleeping with men);

Obtained a fancy corset and a Victorian ballgown;

Did some artwork I'm quite proud of;

Had my trio end up a quartet again, in one of the weirder ways I can imagine right now (with even more fun surreality on top of that) and;

Had the BBC film a documentary about my private life?!

...

OK, so it's been a significant year.

If I am to have a resolution for the year that follows, let it be to pay attention. To live mindfully and watchfully, and be fully aware that the person who looks back on the eve of 2010 may be someone I almost don't recognize...or that I could get hit by a truck tomorrow and end it right now. To be always present with the beauty and suffering and power of the world. To move through these days poised in readiness for taste and contact, scent and tone and vision.